Ode to the Yes Girls
"I repent of my diets, the delicious dishes rejected out of vanity, as
much as I lament the opportunities for making love that I let go by
because of pressing tasks or puritanical virtue." Isabelle Allende,
from Globe and Mail, Thought du Jour, May 30, 2007.
I begin this post with a confession about the limits of reclaiming language. While I’ve been called "fat" and "slut" they are not words I’d ever use to describe myself. I listen with wonder and amazement when others take those hateful words back and make them fun. And I approve whole heartedly. But not for me. Too much bad history. They’ve never been words I’ve taken to my heart. On the body image front, I happily describe myself as big and strong (there’s a women’s weight lifting shirt I like: "You say BIG like it’s a bad thing.") and I think others are wrong to think of me as fat. They just aren’t comfortable with women’s athletic bodies (other than the ideal of the aerobics bunny or marathon runner). But I know lots of sexy fat women who are happy to call themselves "fat." (See the The Fat Femme Mafia skip rope in the park, for example. Ditto for "slut," a word I haven’t liked because it implies less than discriminating taste and I’m pretty particular in my attractions. Again, though I know lots of very cool people, some friends who call themselves "sluts" and I think more power to them.
But the above quotation made me realize how much the idea of "fat" and "slut" are connected. We are the girls who say "yes." We are the undisciplined ones who give in to our appetites. The ideal women–from heteronormative perspective–is one in control, who possesses the virtue of will power, who denies her desires. This isn’t a particularly original thought but I love the Allende quote above and it reminded me why people find fat women so threatening. It’s the power of yes. So, let’s raise a toast to the yes girls among us. Cheers!
